In a few days we are heading to California. After what felt like the longest winter ever (it never gets easier) and a brutal end of March/beginning of April, I am beyond ready for a change of scenery. Mostly I’m looking forward to warm sunshine, wearing sandals, and not having to wear a puffy coat. As such, I’ve been thinking about what to pack, partially as a form of self-preservation because I really need something to look forward to.

In addition to my seasonal depression, I was coming off of one of the worst illnesses I’ve ever had. I found myself in a bit of a rut. I don’t know how else to say this other than I was feeling very down on myself. Aside from not feeling well physically, my mental and emotional well-being wasn’t great. And without getting too deep into it, I was looking for the quickest way to feel better. So I did what I used to do on a fairly regular basis. I started shopping for stuff online. Yes, I’m still human!

What better way to change your whole life than with a new wardrobe, right?! Obviously no, but this didn’t stop me from filling my various shopping carts with over $400 of items I do not need and quite frankly can’t afford. And this is after I just purchased a pair of sneakers online that didn’t work out and I had to return. Side note: I promise from now on, for the rare occasions when I do make a purchase, I’m not sharing it until after I’ve figured out if I actually like it.

Anyway back to the shopping carts, I was this close to impulse-buying everything, even after going practically 2 years without buying anything new. But I didn’t. Because after two years of not buying anything, I know deep in my soul that buying a bunch of new stuff isn’t going to fix my problems or help me feel better about myself. And that’s annoying, because it feels so good in the moment!

The truth is, ultimately what helped me feel better wasn’t a quick fix (though the vitamin IV drip I got definitely sped up my physical recovery). It was going outside to read on a sunny day. It was signing up for cardio tennis with a friend. It was going for morning walks. It was trying a new knitting project at a community space with a bunch of people I didn’t know. It was starting a really good book. It was going to therapy! It was making a good playlist and rocking out to it. What helped me get out of a rut was immersing myself in joyful experiences, getting some sun on my face, and talking about the fact that I felt like shit. You just can’t buy that online.

And when I started packing my suitcase for California I brought up my summer clothes from the basement. I shopped my own closet, and it was 100% free.

Most clicked links from the last edition were this round-up of the best book recs for spring from Indie bookstores and my spring inspiration board on Pinterest.