How to Stop Buying Things You Don't Need

To quote every influencer on the internet “you guys have been asking…”. In all seriousness, one of the questions I get the most is, “how do I stop buying stuff?”. As someone halfway through my second buy nothing year, I have thoughts.

First let me say, it has never been easier to buy things, and this is of course by design. When tech companies talk about making our lives “frictionless,” what they mean is, making it as easy as possible for us to spend money, hand over our personal data, and give away our attention. They got what they wanted, everyone’s addicted to the instant gratification and dopamine hamster wheel that comes with online shopping and endless consumption. And we’ve normalized this behavior so much it’s now a running joke to talk about getting packages you forgot you ordered.

None of this is ok. And yes we can lay blame on corporations and tech companies who’ve made us all addicted to buying stuff and endlessly scrolling while we feel dead inside, but at some point shouldn’t we start asking, what if we stopped?

Ending the cycle of overconsumption isn’t just about avoiding social media ads, marketing emails, and influencer round-ups, but recognizing that it shouldn’t and doesn’t need to be this way. And that actually, maybe we’d be happier, more fulfilled, and less anxious if we found contentment with things that can’t be co-opted by corporations, like cultivating community, nourishing friendships, trying a hobby for fun, going for a walk in nature, or reading a book from the library.

Now before your eyes glaze over when I say this next thing, hear me out. There are various tactics to use when trying to buy less stuff (which I’ve shared below), but until we look within and figure out why we keep buying so much stuff, we’re just putting a bandaid on a broken leg.

There is absolutely no denying the world is a painful place right now, so it makes perfect sense we’d seek out the easiest and quickest ways to feel good. Buying shit we don’t need is a quick fix to fill that void. But how long does it last, and when it wears off, then what?

If we are going to survive, and dare I say thrive, during such challenging times, what we need isn’t more stuff, it’s to reconnect with what really matters, nourishing ourselves, our relationships, our communities, and our planet. Buying things will never be able to fix that.

Otherwise, what’s the end point? A labubu lobotomy I guess.

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This is my number one tip to help curb overconsumption and mindless shopping. Just made it harder. How many times has something shown up at your door and you forgot you even ordered it? How much time have you dedicated to shipping returns (which more than likely end up in a landfill)? The tech industry loves to talk about making everything “frictionless” which is literally just a way to increase their revenue and profit. Because the easier they make it to spend money, the more likely we are to do it.

The truth is friction is not a bad thing, in fact it’s vital for humans to experience it:

It’s never been easier to buy stuff, and when you add inconspicuous marketing and influencers to the mix, it’s no wonder we find ourselves constantly feeling the pull to click “buy now.”

The best way to make it harder is to disconnect any saved cards, PayPal accounts, 1-click shopping, and anything else that results in buying things without even having to take out your credit card.

Amazon knows that its Prime members are going to spend more money. They’ve made it as easy as humanly possible to buy stuff, and to make you think it’s stuff you need. Of course there are times it is stuff we need, but there’s probably another way to get it. Amazon Prime members spend twice as much as non-Prime members during the year, and that’s no accident. Take it from this Amazon executive:

Amazon’s one-click ordering also makes it easier than ever to impulse purchase, and along with their sophisticated algorithms and customer surveillance, it’s never been easier for them to suggest products they know you’re likely to buy.

Between brands and influencers, marketing has become so inconspicuous it’s harder than ever to tell what’s an ad and what’s a genuine recommendation or review. Unsubscribe from brand marketing emails, you definitely don’t need them. Limit your time on social media (not just because it encourages impulse spending but because it’s better for your mental health). Curate who you follow and think about how those people or brands impact your spending habits.

If you find yourself filling a cart or going to buy something without really thinking about it, take a break for 24 hours. I bet that more than half the time, you’ll forget to even go back!

This might sound a little crazy but I rarely used to borrow things. If I needed something I just bought it. And that my friends, is SUPER wasteful. Once I had a kid, it became even more apparent just how much stuff you can acquire in a short amount of time. If you need something that you are only going to use once or for a short amount of time, ask if anyone has one you can borrow. You might be surprised to find how many people are willing to lend out their stuff!

If you’re going into a big box store or a mall, make a list of what you need. I used to go into Target without a plan and it was such a bad idea. I would inevitably always leave with way more than I had planned to get, and I can’t think of any groundbreaking purchases I ever made that were worth the extra time and money I spent in there.

Our local Buy Nothing group has single handedly changed my approach to consumption. It is AMAZING what you can find in a buy nothing group, and it’s also a great way to hand something you no longer need off to someone who can use it. It not only helps keep things out of landfills but also prevents people from buying things they don’t need. Ours is on WhatsApp but I think there’s lots on Facebook too.

A friend recently hosted a clothing swap at her house and it was dare I say, one of the most fun nights I’ve had in a while. Everyone brought at least 8 items of clothing, shoes, or accessories, we laid it all out in her dining room, and then we went through and picked things we might want to bring home. What made it especially fun was sharing stories about the items we brought and giving each other feedback on items we thought would work great for another person at the swap. I went home with some awesome sweatpants, a sweatshirt, a pair of jeans, and a super cute linen tank. Our host graciously offered to donate anything that was left over at the end of the night. Oh, and everyone brought a dessert, or in my case a cheese plate to share!

We live in a throwaway culture where we’ve normalized throwing something away instead of trying to fix it. This is also a result of planned obsolescence because producing more goods as cheaply as possible is a very profitable business strategy. But there are definitely ways to have things fixed whether it’s mending a tear, replacing a zipper, or repairing a broken electronic. Planned obsolescence isn’t slowing down, and we’ve all noticed how poorly things are made now, so the longer you can hang onto something the better.

I know, I know, cue the eye roll, but this is where I remind you that there is just no path to happiness through things. That void we’re trying to fill with stuff, it’s just going to become deeper and more hollow the more we avoid the elephant in the room. The truth is, culturally we’ve become accustomed to overconsumption, we’re basically flaunting it at this point. And to what end? Maybe instead of trying to make ourselves feel better with “little treats” and trendy trinkets and shiny new things all the time, we should dig a little deeper and figure out what would really nourish ourselves and our souls. Get some fresh air, find a forest or a beach, go for a walk, turn off your phone, take a deep breath in and exhale. Notice how it feels in your body and mind. That’s the stuff money can’t buy.

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