When people ask about the “origin story” of how I got into my career as an influencer, it would always start with my line about starting a blog as a “hobby.” For a long time, I believed that to be true. And while starting a blog was fun, it wasn’t just for fun. I started a blog in the early 2010s because I wanted a job in fashion, and I figured that was my ticket to getting one. I loved doing it, but it wasn’t purely for enjoyment. I had an end goal in mind.
It wasn’t until recently that I realized what it feels like to have an actual hobby, not something that can be optimized, commodified or monetized. Something to do purely for the purposes of enjoyment.
A year ago, if describing a hobby of mine, I probably would have said gardening, but the more I think about it, I’m not so sure.
Growing vegetables and fruit is something we do to feed our family. It is strenuous, and at times very frustrating. It’s more rewarding than fun. I love how our perennial flowers look around our home, but gardening as a whole is a ridiculous amount of work. If anything, gardening is more a passion or a lifestyle choice than a hobby.
It’s understandable that in our modern-day culture of -maxxing, even hobbies turn into activities that make us feel like it’s not enough to do something for the pure joy of it. But that’s exactly the problem. The key to having a hobby (and enjoying it) is the low stakes of it all.
At the end of last year I decided to sign up for a knitting class. As the first class approached I was already regretting it. It’s January, it’s cold, and the last thing I wanted to do at 6pm on a Tuesday night was leave my house. Luckily I signed up with a friend who was feeling the same way, so we peer pressured each other into going anyway.
I don’t think either one of us anticipated just how much we’d come to love those nights. Knitting does not come easily to me. I have to knit regularly so I don’t forget the stitches, but I want to practice everyday because I enjoy doing it. In our last class I had to rip out everything I did after I made a huge mistake. Even though I was slightly annoyed with myself, it wasn’t a big deal because the stakes are exceedingly low. After a few weeks, I’ll hopefully have a beanie, which is what we are learning to knit, but if I don’t, I’m not worried about it!
As we were leaving class last week my friend jokingly remarked how it felt like we had entered the flow state. But she was so right. On Tuesday nights in that room, we lose all sense of time. When people start to pack up to go home we always look at each other in shock, “how have we been here for two hours already?!”
On Tuesday nights we lose any sense of self-consciousness. We might not be good at it, and we might mess up, but it doesn’t matter. It’s new, and we’re learning!
No optimizing, no monetizing, no pressure to seek perfection. On those Tuesday nights we are completely focused and immersed in our knitting projects, but most of all, we are having fun.
And that’s the sweet spot right there, at the end of the day, your hobby should make you happy, the fun is in giving yourself the freedom to find out what that is.
Do you have a hobby you love? How did you find it? Are there hobbies you’ve tried and then quit?