Our incredible Book club dinner prepared by my friend’s husband while we sat and watched the sunset from her patio.

Depending on the corners of the internet you occupy, and the social circles you run in, men can be a real source of ire (rightfully so I might add). Men are responsible for lots of very terrible things, the least of which is the state of our country right now. Feminists (of which I consider myself one) are often labeled as “man haters,” most notably Gloria Steinem, despite her repeated professions of love for men, was labeled as such throughout her entire life and career.

I don’t know how I stumbled across it, but there was a red carpet interview with Hailey Bieber and Kendall Jenner where they answered rapid fire questions, one of which was “What’s one word to describe something that gives you the ick?” Kendall Jenner replied, “long toes” and Hailey Bieber said, “men.” In fairness to Hailey, she’s married to Justin Bieber, a man who famously said about his wife “If you weren't so hot, I would've gotten rid of you a long time ago.” Point being, Hailey’s sentiment isn’t unusual.

But this is not about the toxic marriage of famous people. It’s about witnessing what happens when men show up. It came up in a discussion post-dinner (pictured above) about the number of Dads at school pick-up and drop off. A responsibility commonly relegated to the women is, in our community, often dominated by the men. And no, picking your kids up at school or dropping them off does not earn you a gold star, but compared to other places I’ve lived, there is a noticeable difference in how men are involved in caretaking here.

Is it perfect? No. Are we still living under the patriarchy? Obviously. But our kids get to see a version of partnership that feels a little more balanced, and perhaps a little more like what we’ve been hoping for all along.

But maybe more notable is how these men can handle powerful women. Women and moms who are lawyers and doctors. Moms who have advanced degrees and moms who are breadwinners. Men who don’t always need to be the most important person in the room.

Men who are proud of their wives. Men who cook dinner, do laundry, put the kids to bed, coach teams, volunteer, and can handle the household if Mom leaves for several days or longer. Men who show up because, to quote the late Gloria Steinem from an article she wrote in 1970, “Women's Liberation really is Men's Liberation, too.”

RIP Queen.

In this week’s Click. Read. Love.

  • The album you need if you’re ready for a good cry

  • Why energy drinks don’t actually provide you with energy

  • There’s a decent chance you have unclaimed money waiting for you

  • The best brands to shop secondhand for fall

  • The people most likely to fall for fake news

  • and more!

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There’s a decent chance you have unclaimed money waiting for you. I searched my name in both Rhode Island and Vermont and found several balances. The claims process is a little different for every state but it’s pretty easy!

RIP Wendell Berry, “He nudged us to do the same, and to have the courage to ask, ‘Is my need important enough to inflict this injury on the world?’ He didn’t say do, or don’t. He just said to look. Widen your gaze, and look again.” (The New York Times)

If you’re wondering what late-stage capitalism has to do with energy drinks, this is it.

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The deceptive part is that “energy drinks” don’t actually provide “energy,” beyond what you’d normally get by digesting a bunch of liquid sugar. Instead, they block your capacity to feel how tired you are. So when you drink a few Monsters or Red Bulls, you’re still getting physically and mentally fatigued; your brain just doesn’t know it yet. It’s as if, instead of using an oven mitt, you just shot your hand full of Novocaine before grabbing a hot pan.

“Being a billionaire is a moral failure.” RIP Dolly Parton.

Some refreshingly uplifting news for feminism. I’ve always been an Olivia Rodrigo fan, but now I think I’m a Stan? (Abortion Every Day)

Conservatives are more likely than liberals to fall for fake news, and young people are more susceptible than older. But mainly to combat misinformation, we need to get better at correcting those close to us, and accepting corrections when we’re wrong. (Not-Ship)

Abortion bans are killing women. The number of ectopic pregnancy deaths have doubled. (ProPublica)

Meta is hosting a horrific number of AI-generated child abuse material and making almost no effort to take any of it down. (Futurism)

I only made it through three songs of Sara Bareilles’s new album Good Grief before I was ugly crying in my kitchen. If you want to cut right to the cathartic crying, listen to Just A Kid and A Love Story. Her new documentary looks incredible I can’t wait to see it.

Once you’ve had a good cry, put on Stop the Wedding by Ashe. Can’t wait for this album!

Who’s going to see Practical Magic 2?

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Lynn Croland1 month ago

Loved the music. Miss Vermont in Fal for my October Birthday. Haven’t been checking so much online now but I’ve been following you a long time Jess., TBH things are hard now. My husband who I adore has had Alzheimer’s for a few years. The last two days he’s stopped eating and drinking. I’m certain since he had 24/7 care with a nurse he’s just not coming out of this . Still walking around with your fur lined clogs and orange coat and want to thank you for all the nice things you’ve done for me. It’s been fun to see you grow and become a mom . I can’t see her but she looks adorable. Anyway you are still my friend in my heart and I wanted to tell u. I love your new sweater too.
Love, Lynn

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Katie1 month ago

Thinking of you Lynn, this stage of life sounds so so difficult and my heart is with you.

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Lynn Croland1 month ago

Thank you, I so appreciate it.

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Jess KirbyAuthor1 month ago

Lynn I'm so sorry for everything you're going through. Sending love your way. I hope you can find some time to take care of yourself. Thinking of you.

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Lynn Croland1 month ago

Jay passed away this afternoon Jess and it hurts so much.😢

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Jennifer Schmidt1 month ago

Another great post - thank you! I so look forward to these:). And the Sara Bareilles album... ugly.crying.everysong.! My 20yo daughter covered her song 'Gravity' about five years ago as a solo for her high school's a capella group - one of my favorite memories ever. My girl's at college now and miss her every day - so, so much ugly crying around all kinds of grief that I actually needed today!

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Jess KirbyAuthor1 month ago

Oh your daughter sounds amazing you must have been so proud. It's the perfect album for cathartic cries. xx